Hospice Kicked Us Out

Thank God hospice kicked us out. At least the doctor said she’d still provide pain medicine. Apparently, my grandma was accepted into hospice because of dementia. Last I checked, hospice accepts you when you have 6 months or less to live. Dementia is not necessarily terminal in under 6 months. It’s called the LONG GOODBYE. You can live with it for a long time.

And when they refer to her handicap . . . they use air quotes . . . They say, “What ‘handicap’?”

No, it’s not “handicap.” It exists. She was born with it. Had it for 83 years. Walks with a limp and uses canes. And for an 83 year old, if it is left untreated as it was when she was in the medical “CARE” it becomes terminal.

It breaks down her digestive system. It causes her such intense pain. And all we asked was that they reduce her suffering caused by her handicap. Not to let us run out of medicine. Which they did over and over again. It didn’t matter how much we called or asked.

The aid who changed her diaper saw the pain. She was heartbroken. The weekend aid who isn’t apart of hospice noticed. She was crying. She couldn’t let it go. So, I don’t understand hospice.

I’m flabbergasted.

Feb. 18 this woman who was walking and aware, only went to the hospital to evacuate freezing temperatures. And she was given a death sentence by this corrupt organization. They had their records wrong from the very beginning. She never fell. They thought her “handicap” was because she had fallen. And dementia became the ONLY thing they could see. They ignored the one and only reason she is now bed ridden. The reason we called hospice.

She barely even has dementia. She has all her long term memories. She wasn’t leaving her keys in the fridge. Or forgetting how to dress. Or anything like that. She couldn’t keep track of the days so well. She actually kept track better than she gave herself credit for.

Her panic disorder in addition to being in her 80’s would cause her to forget short term things. But how is that dementia? It looks more like mental decline due to aging and stress and confusion caused by her panic disorder. It’s not that hard to understand. Well, it is pretty complicated. She probably does have dementia.

But that shouldn’t mean her lifelong handicap just vanishes.

I struggle to stay quiet during injustice. Especially, when my family member is being harmed. And after being yelled at so many times by hospice nurses, I finally started yelling back and calling them out on their injustices. And I promised my mom when they showed up today, I’d stay quiet and work on my drawing. And I did. Until she came and asked my opinion. And then I went off on them. It’s injustice. It’s inhumane.

But, I did at least lay down another layer of Inktense on this mushroom piece.

Hospice Makes You Suffer

The entire time we’ve been dealing with Hospice, they have been very insistent on using drugs on my grandmother that she responds badly to. They make her suffer and they don’t actually address the symptoms that she does have.

The Suffering She Experiences on Those Drugs

  • Increased Anxiety
  • Increased Confusion
  • Increased Aggression
  • Obsessiveness
  • Heaviness

That’s only a few but it’s more than enough. She always responds this way and these bad reactions are always ignored and dismissed. My grandma hates the drugs and demands to get rid of them. She even throws them. She refuses them because they make her feel worse.

Incompetency and Negligence

That’s what you get with Hospice. Every time, with zero exceptions, the nurse’s records have been wrong. There was a computer error apparently….every single time. Regardless of the multiple excuses they’ve used, they’re just not able to get my grandmother’s information right. They always have the wrong drugs listed and the drugs she does need are not listed.

Which is very unprofessional and dangerous.

Am I confused? Isn’t it kind of important to be careful when using drugs and dealing with a human being?

Needless to say, I got so upset. I can’t take the incompetency anymore. I feel like I’m in war and I’m getting battle fatigue. We tried to clarify the records with the nurse and she got so upset with our conversation she was ready to run away. She asked me, “Will you let me go fix this?”

I responded, “Let you? I expect you to. This is your job. You’re getting paid. Yes, please get the records right. And please manage her symptoms so that we can reduce her suffering.”

She looked at me dumbfounded.

Symptoms We Need Managed

  • Excruciating pain caused by her handicap that increases daily.
  • No sleep. She doesn’t sleep. So, some kind of sleeping aid.

When she told us the doctor she was going to speak to my heart sank. Because this doctor LOVES anti-psychotics. She’s having multiple affairs with these drugs. It’s her go-to drug for every single ailment. I predicted that she would prescribe an anti-psychotic. And what did she do?

She prescribed an anti-psychotic!! FOR SLEEP! I’m not an expert on drugs but I’ve heard Insomnia by The Dirty Heads and there’s tons of options that aren’t anti-psychotics!

What Else Did the Good Doctor Do?

She reduced her pain medicine from every 4 hours to twice a day. And said to supplement with morphine.

So, for the past 3 days her pain as increased to the point where she can’t move.

  • She cries.
  • She whimpers.
  • She can’t sit up.
  • She can’t even speak.

I can’t help but feel we’re being punished. Or I just sound paranoid.

We called today to report it and the nurse told us to wait about an hour for the morphine to kick in.

Uuuhhhhhh….don’t you know how morphine works?!? A tolerance builds up and it becomes less effective over time and something needs to be changed.

They refuse though.

I don’t know what to do. I really thought that Hospice was supposed to help reduce suffering in a person’s dying days. I was wrong. We have told them she’s suffering so they reduced her pain meds. I just don’t get it.

This poor woman is being neglected by the same corrupt medical system who neglected her and made her bed ridden in the first place. I guess 83 year olds have rationed care no matter what, even in death.

It’s Just So Heartbreaking

And it’s infuriating. Our world is corrupt. I know it. You know it. The leader’s know it. Everyone knows it. I still haven’t gotten anymore donations on her Go Fund Me page. And I understand. You really have no reason to donate. You don’t know me or my grandma. I’m sure you have your own problems. You probably have your own family members who are dealing with some kind of corruption or mistreatment in our society.

And maybe donations just aren’t the way God wants to provide for us.

I think if she could be in a facility, they could go ahead and use their dangerous and inhumane treatment and get it done a lot faster. I personally can not knowingly put my grandma through that kind of treatment. But they can. And they are trained to do it.

Ultimately, I just need her pain and suffering to stop. I pray that God let’s her rest in peace and welcomes her with open arms. And I’m going to continue trying with the Go Fund Me.

The Power of Giving

Altruism is very powerful. It changes the world. And humans naturally feel good when they’ve done a good deed. I’m not Mrs. Popularity and I don’t have social media. I don’t know anyone. So, I am depending on the kindness of strangers to donate a small amount.

I am also depending on other Christians. We’re all apart of the body of Christ and it’s our duty to help each other in times of need.

I do.

I donate money and my time whenever I can. So, there’s gotta be some karma coming back to me. Thousands of small amounts can add up to the amount we need to get her the treatment she needs in her dying days.

Thanks for reading.

Please Share Donate & Pray

And if you don’t wanna donate to this cause then please find somewhere else that you can spread a little humanity to. Stand up to the corruption, the injustice, and just plain wrong treatment of human beings. I know we’re not the only one’s going through this in our sinking ship of a society.

We Need GoFundMe because Grandma Doesn’t Qualify for Medicaid

Thank you for the first donation

First off, I’d like to thank my first donator. I hope you don’t mind me using your name, but Crystal Fuller got the ball rolling. Thank you so much for your kindness. I can’t tell you how blessed I feel by your generosity.

My Grandma’s GoFundMe

I also want to thank the people who have sent me messages through Go Fund Me. I appreciate your concern and prayers. And I’d like to alleviate any misunderstandings of why we can’t take advantage of the free Hospice facilities. We are using the Hospice of East Texas out of Tyler. She has been accepted into Hospice At-Home Care with them. It’s not very convenient because it takes over an hour for the employees to get to her home but we were told they’re the best.

A Little Background Info

Husband and Wife – Clyde and Mary

In 1988 before my grandpa died from asbestos poisoning, he made sure that his wife would be taken care of for the rest of her life. It’s not much, especially since he died in the 20th century when the cost of living was so much less expensive than it is today. But it was enough to pay her bills until she dies, which are low. There’s also enough to cover some medical needs and her burial. 

She wants to be buried next to her husband at Old North Church in Nacogdoches, Tx.

Her Dead Husband’s Grave

He didn’t prepare for this though. He never would have imagined that her Medicare insurance for the elderly wouldn’t be enough to take care of her elderly medical needs. We all know how complicated insurance is these days. And we all know how little it actually covers. 

Why Do We Need Donations?

I want you to understand what you’re donating for. My grandma does not qualify for Medicaid. She’s not rich. But the preparations her husband made to take care of her after he died, stop her from being able to qualify.

  • We’ve had three social workers exhaust their options.
  • My mom has researched her butt off and ran into the same obstacles as the social workers.
  • We even spoke to a lawyer who also told us there’s nothing we can do to qualify. 

She’s stuck in a Catch 22. Not poor enough to qualify for Medicaid, and not rich enough to pay for the facility. Without Medicaid, we just cannot afford the cost of a facility. In some locations the prices are a little lower and we wouldn’t be able to afford those lower prices either. In our area, we are looking at about $60,000 a year or more. I’m not sure how long she needs, but I’m guessing under 6 months.

What does Hospice Provide for Us?

  • A nurse visits once a week. 
  • An aid visits only during the week once a day to clean her including the cleaning supplies.
  • They provide medicine. 
  • We also get 5 days of respite care each month. My grandma gets transported to a nursing home, so that the family can get 5 days of rest. That’s what her insurance covers. 

Paying out of Pocket

Since Hospice doesn’t send an aid out on weekends, we have to pay for that out of pocket. Just to give you an idea. We can only afford one hour for each day. At first, we were going to get 4 hours but we just can’t afford it. Maybe once or twice. But if we do that every single weekend we’re going to run out of money fast. So, we do the bare minimum. 

If we pay for someone to give her pain and dementia medicine, we can’t even afford one time. Because she get’s it daily more than once and it’s over $100 for each time. So, that’s just not an option. It’s so important for her to be administered these drugs in a facility. We work hard to do it right, but we are not a substitute for trained professionals. 

She also does not allow us to clean her up. She has incontinence and that is getting worse because it’s directly damaged by her handicap. Her handicap is located in her pelvis and legs and now her spine because the scoliosis is starting to spread. 

Family as Caregivers

Her family is just me and my mom. The picture below was a gift my grandpa gave to his wife and daughter – a trip to Hawaii because she always wanted to go there. And they met Don Ho and had dinner together.

Don Ho, Mary, and her Daughter

My grandma’s family is all gone . . . all of her siblings have died, except for one. But he’s elderly, out of town, and not available to help. She lost her younger sister who stayed in touch with her all the time through phone calls, mail, and she came to visit regularly.

Her Sister – My Aunt Herminia with her husband Dale

She died the same year my grandma’s son died which was almost two years ago. Everyone knows how hard it can be for a parent when their child dies before them. And his children are dealing with his death and other health problems that just make it impossible for them to add more to their burden.

So basically our lives have stopped. We are doing nothing but caring for my grandma 24/7. I’ve abandoned my home. My work. My dad. My boyfriend. My friends. My godchildren. My own health and well – being. 

My poor dog Sunny has been uprooted from her happy and stress free life in the country to being in town with loud town noises. She feels our stress and while she makes a wonderful therapy dog for us and for my grandma, it’s just taken a toll on her. And her breed is prone to getting a hole in the heart when they get older. The vet told us 3 years ago, because it showed up. I do my best to pray over her daily and always make sure she gets her walks and eats healthy.

Sunny using her Beagle nose

I want her to live a long healthy life. But we are struggling to give her that extra love and care right now. 

What Can You Do?

  • Share the link with everyone you can think of.
  • Donate what you can. $1, $5, $20. Whatever you can afford and feel comfortable with. Every little bit counts and adds up.
  • Pray. If you can’t donate, I understand. But we always appreciate prayer.

Grandma’s GoFundMe

I hope that helps everyone know why we can’t afford the Hospice care in a facility. Thank you for reading, sharing, donating, and praying. Sometimes we have to help each other out in this world where so many people are struggling.