Hospice Makes You Suffer

The entire time we’ve been dealing with Hospice, they have been very insistent on using drugs on my grandmother that she responds badly to. They make her suffer and they don’t actually address the symptoms that she does have.

The Suffering She Experiences on Those Drugs

  • Increased Anxiety
  • Increased Confusion
  • Increased Aggression
  • Obsessiveness
  • Heaviness

That’s only a few but it’s more than enough. She always responds this way and these bad reactions are always ignored and dismissed. My grandma hates the drugs and demands to get rid of them. She even throws them. She refuses them because they make her feel worse.

Incompetency and Negligence

That’s what you get with Hospice. Every time, with zero exceptions, the nurse’s records have been wrong. There was a computer error apparently….every single time. Regardless of the multiple excuses they’ve used, they’re just not able to get my grandmother’s information right. They always have the wrong drugs listed and the drugs she does need are not listed.

Which is very unprofessional and dangerous.

Am I confused? Isn’t it kind of important to be careful when using drugs and dealing with a human being?

Needless to say, I got so upset. I can’t take the incompetency anymore. I feel like I’m in war and I’m getting battle fatigue. We tried to clarify the records with the nurse and she got so upset with our conversation she was ready to run away. She asked me, “Will you let me go fix this?”

I responded, “Let you? I expect you to. This is your job. You’re getting paid. Yes, please get the records right. And please manage her symptoms so that we can reduce her suffering.”

She looked at me dumbfounded.

Symptoms We Need Managed

  • Excruciating pain caused by her handicap that increases daily.
  • No sleep. She doesn’t sleep. So, some kind of sleeping aid.

When she told us the doctor she was going to speak to my heart sank. Because this doctor LOVES anti-psychotics. She’s having multiple affairs with these drugs. It’s her go-to drug for every single ailment. I predicted that she would prescribe an anti-psychotic. And what did she do?

She prescribed an anti-psychotic!! FOR SLEEP! I’m not an expert on drugs but I’ve heard Insomnia by The Dirty Heads and there’s tons of options that aren’t anti-psychotics!

What Else Did the Good Doctor Do?

She reduced her pain medicine from every 4 hours to twice a day. And said to supplement with morphine.

So, for the past 3 days her pain as increased to the point where she can’t move.

  • She cries.
  • She whimpers.
  • She can’t sit up.
  • She can’t even speak.

I can’t help but feel we’re being punished. Or I just sound paranoid.

We called today to report it and the nurse told us to wait about an hour for the morphine to kick in.

Uuuhhhhhh….don’t you know how morphine works?!? A tolerance builds up and it becomes less effective over time and something needs to be changed.

They refuse though.

I don’t know what to do. I really thought that Hospice was supposed to help reduce suffering in a person’s dying days. I was wrong. We have told them she’s suffering so they reduced her pain meds. I just don’t get it.

This poor woman is being neglected by the same corrupt medical system who neglected her and made her bed ridden in the first place. I guess 83 year olds have rationed care no matter what, even in death.

It’s Just So Heartbreaking

And it’s infuriating. Our world is corrupt. I know it. You know it. The leader’s know it. Everyone knows it. I still haven’t gotten anymore donations on her Go Fund Me page. And I understand. You really have no reason to donate. You don’t know me or my grandma. I’m sure you have your own problems. You probably have your own family members who are dealing with some kind of corruption or mistreatment in our society.

And maybe donations just aren’t the way God wants to provide for us.

I think if she could be in a facility, they could go ahead and use their dangerous and inhumane treatment and get it done a lot faster. I personally can not knowingly put my grandma through that kind of treatment. But they can. And they are trained to do it.

Ultimately, I just need her pain and suffering to stop. I pray that God let’s her rest in peace and welcomes her with open arms. And I’m going to continue trying with the Go Fund Me.

The Power of Giving

Altruism is very powerful. It changes the world. And humans naturally feel good when they’ve done a good deed. I’m not Mrs. Popularity and I don’t have social media. I don’t know anyone. So, I am depending on the kindness of strangers to donate a small amount.

I am also depending on other Christians. We’re all apart of the body of Christ and it’s our duty to help each other in times of need.

I do.

I donate money and my time whenever I can. So, there’s gotta be some karma coming back to me. Thousands of small amounts can add up to the amount we need to get her the treatment she needs in her dying days.

Thanks for reading.

Please Share Donate & Pray

And if you don’t wanna donate to this cause then please find somewhere else that you can spread a little humanity to. Stand up to the corruption, the injustice, and just plain wrong treatment of human beings. I know we’re not the only one’s going through this in our sinking ship of a society.

She is my Grandma Again

We spent a little more than a month raging against the machine until we were finally heard and they took her off the bad medicine that the FDA says not to give elderly people with dementia. And they put her back on the treatment she had before she went to the hospital.

First Good Day April 16

Last night was the first good night where she got a few hours of sleep. She’s an insomniac and hasn’t slept during this entire debacle. And this morning was the first truly good morning. She was in pain and felt some anxiety but she got control of it fast and worked with me. The confusion has decreased so much and her symptoms are being managed better.

She’s having her first good day where she can manage her anxiety with the right medicine that has worked for decades. And she’s using her behavior techniques that always work for her and should always be accompanied with medicine.

Trial and Error

That’s what the nurses say when we don’t want to use dangerous drugs. “It’s trail and error…blah blah blah.” They’ve been attempting their trial and error drug experiments for a long time but my mom protects her by accompanying her to her doctor appointments.

One doctor told my mom she was being “Nit-picky” when she gave reasons for not accepting these drugs.

Nit-Picky Concerns:

  • What if she falls?
  • What if she responds badly to them because she always has when tried in the past?
  • What about the Black Box Label that says not to give to elderly dementia patients?

I don’t know why they wanted her to be treated for dementia sooooo badly and prescribe such dangerous treatment. Are they trying to increase mortality rates? Or are they that stupid and dependent on using drugs?

One Hospice worker said we should just mix the medicine into her food because my grandma was rejecting the bad drugs that didn’t work and made her feel bad.

Are you freaking kidding me?

She trusts us and we have to show her respect. There’s no way we were going to do that. My grandmother does show signs of very early dementia but most of her behavior is based on her Panic disorder, which just get’s ignored by these people.

And she’s so aware that even while being drugged by them, she knew which pill was her pain medicine. 

She Needs a Nurse Aid 

I don’t want her going back to a facility where they mistreat human beings.

A better choice would be to pay for more at-home care so that she can have a trained professional change her diaper and keep her clean. They can be here to help her with medical needs 24/7 and we can be here as her family to protect her. We can also have an easier time leaving and running errands and taking care of our daily demands. And she can stay in her home where’s she been for 30 years.

But she needs a Nurse Aid who is trained to deal with her incontinence care and physical handicap. It’s also less expensive than a facility.

So, I am going to continue her GoFundMe to pay for that in specific. That’s all we need. We don’t know exactly how long we’ll need it. Could be up to 6 months. Even if we only have 12 hour care during the night, that does add up and is going to be too expensive for my grandma or us to afford. 

Brutal Honesty

You might be wondering why we can’t just pay for it. Over the past two decades we’ve been hit hard by the economy. Our family home needs repairs we can’t afford. We have two classic cars and a truck that we can’t afford to repair. And a variety of other things that just keep building up. And my identity was stolen and that hurt me pretty bad. We pay the bills and we buy the groceries but we can’t afford the medical care for my grandma. And we’re not going into debt to pay for it.

Muchos Gracias

I want to thank everyone who has been praying. We’ve had neighbor’s stop by and other people telling us how they’re praying. I know that God and all the prayers are what’s getting us through this. 

So, This is Common?

That’s what the Hospice workers keep telling us. 

My grandma does ok at times. But every morning she wakes up in such extreme pain that she begs me to cut off her legs. She cries out to God asking why He won’t let her die. She lashes out at me. She refuses the medicine, sometimes throwing it at me. She calls me names. 

It’s ok, I can handle her. I’m not taking it personally because I know she’s in pain and being affected by the medicine that we fought so hard against. 

But really? This is common?! Why aren’t we outraged? Why aren’t we doing something about it?

How can we as Americans, and as humans, just stand by and allow this type of thing to be common? I’m not a powerful person. I have no influence in this world. I don’t do social media. I can’t even raise a small amount of money to get my grandma back into the same facilities that broke her in the first place.

Do I even want her in their “care” again? I don’t really know. Maybe they should be expected to finish the damage that they started.

We have to fight so hard to get her proper care for the symptoms she has, that the medical people ignore, and to get them to listen that DRUGS AREN’T ALWAYS THE ANSWER! 

They are often the problem.

I grew up at the time when the D.A.R.E. program came to our school to teach us to resist drugs. I know they meant street drugs. But doctor given drugs are just as dangerous and often times, that’s where a person’s drug problem starts.

Or restarts after a person has found sobriety. I read in Scar Tissue, that Anthony Kiedis was clean and then a dentist visit allowed him to slip.

I’m so sorry. I feel very passionate about staying off drugs or at least being very careful when they might be necessary. I struggle to stay quiet in the face of social injustice. This type of thing should not be common. Especially when dealing with medical care. They take an oath to do no harm.

How many of you have been harmed by the medical community?