Hospice Makes You Suffer

The entire time we’ve been dealing with Hospice, they have been very insistent on using drugs on my grandmother that she responds badly to. They make her suffer and they don’t actually address the symptoms that she does have.

The Suffering She Experiences on Those Drugs

  • Increased Anxiety
  • Increased Confusion
  • Increased Aggression
  • Obsessiveness
  • Heaviness

That’s only a few but it’s more than enough. She always responds this way and these bad reactions are always ignored and dismissed. My grandma hates the drugs and demands to get rid of them. She even throws them. She refuses them because they make her feel worse.

Incompetency and Negligence

That’s what you get with Hospice. Every time, with zero exceptions, the nurse’s records have been wrong. There was a computer error apparently….every single time. Regardless of the multiple excuses they’ve used, they’re just not able to get my grandmother’s information right. They always have the wrong drugs listed and the drugs she does need are not listed.

Which is very unprofessional and dangerous.

Am I confused? Isn’t it kind of important to be careful when using drugs and dealing with a human being?

Needless to say, I got so upset. I can’t take the incompetency anymore. I feel like I’m in war and I’m getting battle fatigue. We tried to clarify the records with the nurse and she got so upset with our conversation she was ready to run away. She asked me, “Will you let me go fix this?”

I responded, “Let you? I expect you to. This is your job. You’re getting paid. Yes, please get the records right. And please manage her symptoms so that we can reduce her suffering.”

She looked at me dumbfounded.

Symptoms We Need Managed

  • Excruciating pain caused by her handicap that increases daily.
  • No sleep. She doesn’t sleep. So, some kind of sleeping aid.

When she told us the doctor she was going to speak to my heart sank. Because this doctor LOVES anti-psychotics. She’s having multiple affairs with these drugs. It’s her go-to drug for every single ailment. I predicted that she would prescribe an anti-psychotic. And what did she do?

She prescribed an anti-psychotic!! FOR SLEEP! I’m not an expert on drugs but I’ve heard Insomnia by The Dirty Heads and there’s tons of options that aren’t anti-psychotics!

What Else Did the Good Doctor Do?

She reduced her pain medicine from every 4 hours to twice a day. And said to supplement with morphine.

So, for the past 3 days her pain as increased to the point where she can’t move.

  • She cries.
  • She whimpers.
  • She can’t sit up.
  • She can’t even speak.

I can’t help but feel we’re being punished. Or I just sound paranoid.

We called today to report it and the nurse told us to wait about an hour for the morphine to kick in.

Uuuhhhhhh….don’t you know how morphine works?!? A tolerance builds up and it becomes less effective over time and something needs to be changed.

They refuse though.

I don’t know what to do. I really thought that Hospice was supposed to help reduce suffering in a person’s dying days. I was wrong. We have told them she’s suffering so they reduced her pain meds. I just don’t get it.

This poor woman is being neglected by the same corrupt medical system who neglected her and made her bed ridden in the first place. I guess 83 year olds have rationed care no matter what, even in death.

It’s Just So Heartbreaking

And it’s infuriating. Our world is corrupt. I know it. You know it. The leader’s know it. Everyone knows it. I still haven’t gotten anymore donations on her Go Fund Me page. And I understand. You really have no reason to donate. You don’t know me or my grandma. I’m sure you have your own problems. You probably have your own family members who are dealing with some kind of corruption or mistreatment in our society.

And maybe donations just aren’t the way God wants to provide for us.

I think if she could be in a facility, they could go ahead and use their dangerous and inhumane treatment and get it done a lot faster. I personally can not knowingly put my grandma through that kind of treatment. But they can. And they are trained to do it.

Ultimately, I just need her pain and suffering to stop. I pray that God let’s her rest in peace and welcomes her with open arms. And I’m going to continue trying with the Go Fund Me.

The Power of Giving

Altruism is very powerful. It changes the world. And humans naturally feel good when they’ve done a good deed. I’m not Mrs. Popularity and I don’t have social media. I don’t know anyone. So, I am depending on the kindness of strangers to donate a small amount.

I am also depending on other Christians. We’re all apart of the body of Christ and it’s our duty to help each other in times of need.

I do.

I donate money and my time whenever I can. So, there’s gotta be some karma coming back to me. Thousands of small amounts can add up to the amount we need to get her the treatment she needs in her dying days.

Thanks for reading.

Please Share Donate & Pray

And if you don’t wanna donate to this cause then please find somewhere else that you can spread a little humanity to. Stand up to the corruption, the injustice, and just plain wrong treatment of human beings. I know we’re not the only one’s going through this in our sinking ship of a society.

We Need GoFundMe because Grandma Doesn’t Qualify for Medicaid

Thank you for the first donation

First off, I’d like to thank my first donator. I hope you don’t mind me using your name, but Crystal Fuller got the ball rolling. Thank you so much for your kindness. I can’t tell you how blessed I feel by your generosity.

My Grandma’s GoFundMe

I also want to thank the people who have sent me messages through Go Fund Me. I appreciate your concern and prayers. And I’d like to alleviate any misunderstandings of why we can’t take advantage of the free Hospice facilities. We are using the Hospice of East Texas out of Tyler. She has been accepted into Hospice At-Home Care with them. It’s not very convenient because it takes over an hour for the employees to get to her home but we were told they’re the best.

A Little Background Info

Husband and Wife – Clyde and Mary

In 1988 before my grandpa died from asbestos poisoning, he made sure that his wife would be taken care of for the rest of her life. It’s not much, especially since he died in the 20th century when the cost of living was so much less expensive than it is today. But it was enough to pay her bills until she dies, which are low. There’s also enough to cover some medical needs and her burial. 

She wants to be buried next to her husband at Old North Church in Nacogdoches, Tx.

Her Dead Husband’s Grave

He didn’t prepare for this though. He never would have imagined that her Medicare insurance for the elderly wouldn’t be enough to take care of her elderly medical needs. We all know how complicated insurance is these days. And we all know how little it actually covers. 

Why Do We Need Donations?

I want you to understand what you’re donating for. My grandma does not qualify for Medicaid. She’s not rich. But the preparations her husband made to take care of her after he died, stop her from being able to qualify.

  • We’ve had three social workers exhaust their options.
  • My mom has researched her butt off and ran into the same obstacles as the social workers.
  • We even spoke to a lawyer who also told us there’s nothing we can do to qualify. 

She’s stuck in a Catch 22. Not poor enough to qualify for Medicaid, and not rich enough to pay for the facility. Without Medicaid, we just cannot afford the cost of a facility. In some locations the prices are a little lower and we wouldn’t be able to afford those lower prices either. In our area, we are looking at about $60,000 a year or more. I’m not sure how long she needs, but I’m guessing under 6 months.

What does Hospice Provide for Us?

  • A nurse visits once a week. 
  • An aid visits only during the week once a day to clean her including the cleaning supplies.
  • They provide medicine. 
  • We also get 5 days of respite care each month. My grandma gets transported to a nursing home, so that the family can get 5 days of rest. That’s what her insurance covers. 

Paying out of Pocket

Since Hospice doesn’t send an aid out on weekends, we have to pay for that out of pocket. Just to give you an idea. We can only afford one hour for each day. At first, we were going to get 4 hours but we just can’t afford it. Maybe once or twice. But if we do that every single weekend we’re going to run out of money fast. So, we do the bare minimum. 

If we pay for someone to give her pain and dementia medicine, we can’t even afford one time. Because she get’s it daily more than once and it’s over $100 for each time. So, that’s just not an option. It’s so important for her to be administered these drugs in a facility. We work hard to do it right, but we are not a substitute for trained professionals. 

She also does not allow us to clean her up. She has incontinence and that is getting worse because it’s directly damaged by her handicap. Her handicap is located in her pelvis and legs and now her spine because the scoliosis is starting to spread. 

Family as Caregivers

Her family is just me and my mom. The picture below was a gift my grandpa gave to his wife and daughter – a trip to Hawaii because she always wanted to go there. And they met Don Ho and had dinner together.

Don Ho, Mary, and her Daughter

My grandma’s family is all gone . . . all of her siblings have died, except for one. But he’s elderly, out of town, and not available to help. She lost her younger sister who stayed in touch with her all the time through phone calls, mail, and she came to visit regularly.

Her Sister – My Aunt Herminia with her husband Dale

She died the same year my grandma’s son died which was almost two years ago. Everyone knows how hard it can be for a parent when their child dies before them. And his children are dealing with his death and other health problems that just make it impossible for them to add more to their burden.

So basically our lives have stopped. We are doing nothing but caring for my grandma 24/7. I’ve abandoned my home. My work. My dad. My boyfriend. My friends. My godchildren. My own health and well – being. 

My poor dog Sunny has been uprooted from her happy and stress free life in the country to being in town with loud town noises. She feels our stress and while she makes a wonderful therapy dog for us and for my grandma, it’s just taken a toll on her. And her breed is prone to getting a hole in the heart when they get older. The vet told us 3 years ago, because it showed up. I do my best to pray over her daily and always make sure she gets her walks and eats healthy.

Sunny using her Beagle nose

I want her to live a long healthy life. But we are struggling to give her that extra love and care right now. 

What Can You Do?

  • Share the link with everyone you can think of.
  • Donate what you can. $1, $5, $20. Whatever you can afford and feel comfortable with. Every little bit counts and adds up.
  • Pray. If you can’t donate, I understand. But we always appreciate prayer.

Grandma’s GoFundMe

I hope that helps everyone know why we can’t afford the Hospice care in a facility. Thank you for reading, sharing, donating, and praying. Sometimes we have to help each other out in this world where so many people are struggling.

My Heartbreaking Reality

I’m sad to say that I haven’t been able to do any artwork. No drawing. No photography. No nothing. The only thing I am doing is caring for my grandmother 24/7.

I’m happy to help my family but this isn’t just helping. I’ve actually been helping my grandma for years now. I live in the country where high speed Internet isn’t available. So, I use the Internet at her house and I help her with things like cleaning, grocery shopping, and other stuff like that. We also help her with her bills and everything important. With our help she has been able to live independently.

Who is my grandma?

She’s a warrior. Her name is Mary and she’s 83. She’s a widow and all of her siblings and even her son has died.

She hasn’t had the easiest life but she loves God and she overcomes everything that she faces. She was born with a handicap called Hip Dysplasia and Shorter Leg Syndrome. The treatment for this handicap is daily exercise and physical therapy. And as I said, she’s been living independently. She is very active and makes sure that she uses her muscles everyday.

Long Story Short

Well, as short as I can make it. During the Texas Winter Storm in February my grandma’s power went out. She had two choices:

  • She could freeze to death as the temperatures dropped to 1 degree and lower
  • She could evacuate to the hospital

She thought she’d be safe at the hospital so she chose that. We even contacted her Doctor many times before we were able to reach her and she said she was in the safest place she could be.

That was not true

From day one we could not get a hold of the hospital. We called but no answer. When we finally got through, we were scolded for not being there. Even though Covid Restrictions would not allow it. Otherwise, her family would have been there to protect her. We asked for information about her, like is she walking. We informed them of her handicap which they completely ignored.

They had it recorded that she fell and was left alone. She never fell and she was not alone.

The miscommunication and unprofessionalism went on and on and on. We got her into a nursing home and then a rehabilitation center. Unfortunately, just one day of her not walking was too much. Her body was already deteriorating. They even yelled at us when we inquired about her walking. They said, “She was like that when she got here!” They lost all her clothes and her purse.

They even called on a Friday evening at 5pm to tell us she’s being released to our care the next morning. We managed to get them to extend it to Monday. Her plumbing still needed to be repaired from the storm damage.

It was a nightmare.

In Less than One Month

When she left our care she was walking, aware, and living independently. And in less than a month in the medical community’s care she can no longer walk. She needs 24/7 care. And she was accepted into Hospice. She has a ton of life in her but unfortunately she was given a death sentence because that’s the unfortunate truth of leaving her handicap untreated.

Go Fund Me

We like to work hard and take care of ourselves without begging for help. But my grandma doesn’t qualify for Medicaid. We were not prepared for something like this because we still had time to get prepared since she was in such good health. Her Doctor spent all of 2020 telling us she’s too healthy, which is why we couldn’t get physical therapy for her or even a prescription for a new walker.

She’s no longer too healthy.

I hate to beg. But we have gotten desperate enough to go ahead and create a Go Fund Me page. The prices for Hospice care are astronomical. If she can afford to go to a facility she will be cared for better than we can do for her. Even if we can hire in-home care for her, that is extremely expensive and will eat her money up in less than a month. Getting care for her is just not an option.

And Hospice and medicare don’t cover much. https://www.gofundme.com/f/vc38z

We need a Hospice Facility

So, I am writing this blog post to reach out to anyone who has it on their heart to donate money so that we can afford to get her the care she needs and deserves. We are innocent victims. She doesn’t even understand why she can’t walk. She’s been diagnosed with dementia as well and it has increased in severity during all of this. She still tries to stand which only does more damage to her skeleton and increases her pain.

That’s another thing. Her pain is excruciating but nobody will acknowledge her handicap, so she has to be an even stronger warrior than she’s ever had to be and white knuckle it.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and please do whatever God puts on your heart. I don’t want to be greedy but my goal is to get her enough donations to afford a Hospice Facility. She probably needs a few months at the most. I’m not quite sure, but anything we can do to help her will be appreciated.

My poor grandma would be embarrassed to know I am doing this. And the picture of her on the go fund me page is when she was screaming in pain while having her diaper changed. I’m so sorry to share something so bad.

And please share the link and story.

Go Fund Me Link: https://www.gofundme.com/f/vc38z