She is my Grandma Again

We spent a little more than a month raging against the machine until we were finally heard and they took her off the bad medicine that the FDA says not to give elderly people with dementia. And they put her back on the treatment she had before she went to the hospital.

First Good Day April 16

Last night was the first good night where she got a few hours of sleep. She’s an insomniac and hasn’t slept during this entire debacle. And this morning was the first truly good morning. She was in pain and felt some anxiety but she got control of it fast and worked with me. The confusion has decreased so much and her symptoms are being managed better.

She’s having her first good day where she can manage her anxiety with the right medicine that has worked for decades. And she’s using her behavior techniques that always work for her and should always be accompanied with medicine.

Trial and Error

That’s what the nurses say when we don’t want to use dangerous drugs. “It’s trail and error…blah blah blah.” They’ve been attempting their trial and error drug experiments for a long time but my mom protects her by accompanying her to her doctor appointments.

One doctor told my mom she was being “Nit-picky” when she gave reasons for not accepting these drugs.

Nit-Picky Concerns:

  • What if she falls?
  • What if she responds badly to them because she always has when tried in the past?
  • What about the Black Box Label that says not to give to elderly dementia patients?

I don’t know why they wanted her to be treated for dementia sooooo badly and prescribe such dangerous treatment. Are they trying to increase mortality rates? Or are they that stupid and dependent on using drugs?

One Hospice worker said we should just mix the medicine into her food because my grandma was rejecting the bad drugs that didn’t work and made her feel bad.

Are you freaking kidding me?

She trusts us and we have to show her respect. There’s no way we were going to do that. My grandmother does show signs of very early dementia but most of her behavior is based on her Panic disorder, which just get’s ignored by these people.

And she’s so aware that even while being drugged by them, she knew which pill was her pain medicine. 

She Needs a Nurse Aid 

I don’t want her going back to a facility where they mistreat human beings.

A better choice would be to pay for more at-home care so that she can have a trained professional change her diaper and keep her clean. They can be here to help her with medical needs 24/7 and we can be here as her family to protect her. We can also have an easier time leaving and running errands and taking care of our daily demands. And she can stay in her home where’s she been for 30 years.

But she needs a Nurse Aid who is trained to deal with her incontinence care and physical handicap. It’s also less expensive than a facility.

So, I am going to continue her GoFundMe to pay for that in specific. That’s all we need. We don’t know exactly how long we’ll need it. Could be up to 6 months. Even if we only have 12 hour care during the night, that does add up and is going to be too expensive for my grandma or us to afford. 

Brutal Honesty

You might be wondering why we can’t just pay for it. Over the past two decades we’ve been hit hard by the economy. Our family home needs repairs we can’t afford. We have two classic cars and a truck that we can’t afford to repair. And a variety of other things that just keep building up. And my identity was stolen and that hurt me pretty bad. We pay the bills and we buy the groceries but we can’t afford the medical care for my grandma. And we’re not going into debt to pay for it.

Muchos Gracias

I want to thank everyone who has been praying. We’ve had neighbor’s stop by and other people telling us how they’re praying. I know that God and all the prayers are what’s getting us through this. 

So, This is Common?

That’s what the Hospice workers keep telling us. 

My grandma does ok at times. But every morning she wakes up in such extreme pain that she begs me to cut off her legs. She cries out to God asking why He won’t let her die. She lashes out at me. She refuses the medicine, sometimes throwing it at me. She calls me names. 

It’s ok, I can handle her. I’m not taking it personally because I know she’s in pain and being affected by the medicine that we fought so hard against. 

But really? This is common?! Why aren’t we outraged? Why aren’t we doing something about it?

How can we as Americans, and as humans, just stand by and allow this type of thing to be common? I’m not a powerful person. I have no influence in this world. I don’t do social media. I can’t even raise a small amount of money to get my grandma back into the same facilities that broke her in the first place.

Do I even want her in their “care” again? I don’t really know. Maybe they should be expected to finish the damage that they started.

We have to fight so hard to get her proper care for the symptoms she has, that the medical people ignore, and to get them to listen that DRUGS AREN’T ALWAYS THE ANSWER! 

They are often the problem.

I grew up at the time when the D.A.R.E. program came to our school to teach us to resist drugs. I know they meant street drugs. But doctor given drugs are just as dangerous and often times, that’s where a person’s drug problem starts.

Or restarts after a person has found sobriety. I read in Scar Tissue, that Anthony Kiedis was clean and then a dentist visit allowed him to slip.

I’m so sorry. I feel very passionate about staying off drugs or at least being very careful when they might be necessary. I struggle to stay quiet in the face of social injustice. This type of thing should not be common. Especially when dealing with medical care. They take an oath to do no harm.

How many of you have been harmed by the medical community?